Sorry

I Learn Library

A human library inspired by the stories in the film

Journal

By Shiann Evans  |   From : Cleveland  |   School : Facing History New Tech (Cleveland)

Chapter 1: I Never understood why

Before I came onto the world I was loved by a lot of people, some not right away. My mom already had four kids, one girl the oldest, BreAnn; and three boys Sirocco, Shakim, and Keshaun. All born in that order. Keshaun and I always referred to ourselves as the middle kids because that how we felt. We weren’t the oldest or the youngest. I was born in San Diego, California, on October 18, 2001. My mom always tells me that when I came out red and chubby. After that, she always called me “Fatty Red”.Nobody knew what to name me so they let my sister name me, thus came to the name Shiann. Beautiful and uniquely spelled. I went home right away after my birth everything was going smooth, until one day when my mom went to the kitchen to make me something to eat. My brother Keshaun shoved a paper clip down my throat. My mom heard me choking and ran to dig it out of my throat. After I was about four months old we all move to Cleveland to be closer to my aunts, grandma, and great grandma. One night my mom and aunts decided that she needed a night out so she left us with my great grandma and went out. She meets a man and months after that I had a baby brother. They got married and had two more kids.

At first, my mom’s new husband was sweet, kind, and normal but after a while, things started to change. Around when I turned five, he started to act funny, coming home late texting and talking on the phone at midnight. Then everything started, he started abusing my mom, mentally and physically. It happened every day, and it would start over nothing. A few time my mom took us and left but we always came back. I never knew why, why she would keep putting herself in that position, putting her kids in that position but she did over and over again. They

would argue then they’d fight, he’d leave she cries, he apologizes and everything is okay. After thirteen years we left him, and never came back. Every once in awhile I go see him because he is still my family. He many not have been my biological father but he was still my dad.

Chapter 2: The Worst Years

When I was young I got bullied, so I always had to defend myself every day. Middle school was my the worst years of my life, it truly felt like hell. Torcher every minute of every day. Even when I transferred school it traveled with me. I changed school over twelve times hoping and praying that things would change but they never did. After years of experiencing it, I started not wanting to go to school. I started to skip days at a time. I missed a lot of work, and I came very close to not passing the seventh grade.

One day my math teacher pulled me from the class to talk to me. She told me that she saw everything that has been happening to me, that she tried to help as much as she could but I need to help myself. I went home that day think about what she said. The fact that not everyone in the world was cruel made me feel like I should just shut down when life gets a little had. The next day when I wake at first I sat in bed thinking about not going to school but her words keep flowing through my head. I looked at the clock then jumped out of bed and got ready as fast as I could. I remembering walking down the hall with my head up and I felt strong for the first time in months.

After that, I got myself together. I got all the work that I needed to pass and finished in two weeks. The bullying still continued but every time I just pick myself up, I kept going. I ended up fighting a lot to stop the bullying, but I promoted eighth grade with amazing grades. I got to high school and I finally was able to be the person I wanted to be.

Chapter 3:

Everyday I wake up to a specific plan. A plan that I set for myself when I was in the ninth grade. Sometimes my plan changed but most of the time it stays the same. My career choice is mainly the thing that changes. That change depending on the results I get after my research. And when I say research I mean the research I do on the career I’m thinking about. After trying to figure it out so many times, I have now figured out my career choice. I now know that I want to be a Flight Attendant. Yes, I know it sounds weird but I think of it like this, I get paid to travel the world. But I can also do the other thing I love so much which is photography. Photography is one of the things that I love the most, and when I become a flight attendant I can travel, take pictures and experience new things.

School-wise in the future, I hope to graduate from high school. I want to pass with all A’s. With a capstone project that blows people’s minds. One that nobody has ever seen before. A story that nobody has ever seen before. One that is constantly on people’s minds. I want to leave school know that i’m not the same person that came in on the first day of freshman year. I wanna make an impact on the underclassmen. I wanna be able to say that it’s my school, that I changed it for the better.

Leave a Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.