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I Learn Library

A human library inspired by the stories in the film

My Mother’s Walking Out

By Sandra Rodriguez  |   From : Sylmar, California  |   School : Social Justice Humanitas Academy

My story begins the moment my mother walks out of my life. My mother had left when I was only three years old, she had confessed on cheating on my father after the birth of my sister that comes after me. My father was left to take care and to raise me on his own while my mother was out in Colorado with the man she believed she loved. Years past and she’d come in search of me when she was feeling lonely and only ever contacted my father when she needed something, such as money, or when she’d want to take me for a couple months after having not contacted either one of us and sadly since then, nothing has changed as it’s only remained the same and in some form, worse that what it was before. For the past 12 years I’ve only spent time with my mother for a month, every 2-4 years. I go years without having seen my siblings or simply months without having heard a single word from my mother. My mother is no where close to being a mother figure, to me especially. We could never hold a conversation any longer than 5 minutes, the most we’d get up to is “How’s school?” and that’s how things are between us, she’s never bothered to know more about me and as I have never bothered to tell her as she has never tried with me. I can honestly tell you that my mother is a liar, my mother sugarcoats the world around her and she has no fear in lying to you, because as long as my mother is happy, nothing else matters to her. Suddenly we’ve reached the worst point of my life, the worst point being caused by my mother. As I’ve said before, my mother is a complete perfectionist when it comes to walking out of my life and only coming back when she’s in need of something. Recently, my mother had contacted me after having not said a word to me in months, she contacted me just to me that she was going to take her life away. She was going to take her full life away because her husband had left her and I’ve been struggling in understanding this situation, because well, my mother left me behind and had no trouble in doing so but suddenly when she feels the same pain I’ve felt for yours, she has no hesitation towards believing that it was worse for her. She went out of her way just to tell me, just so i can hear the words, “I was going to overdose because of how upset I was in him leaving me”, and I’m just so irritated, so confused, so angry at myself because when I do try mentioning her walking out of my life, she pushes it away, she avoids the conversation as much as she can. Almost like she’s only searching for pity from the world around her and doesn’t want to confront the ones she’s hurt in her life.

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