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I Learn Library

A human library inspired by the stories in the film

I do not remember much about my father

By Vanessa Lopez  |   From : Boston, MA  |   School : Colombia

My story starts in Colombia with my father. I do not remember much about my father because he left the house when I was 8 years old, but I communicate with him. I go to Colombia and I see him as if it is normal, but I will never forget when I came to live with him.

When I was 6 years old, there was always alcohol in the house. My father came home almost every night drunk and came right to the kitchen to pick up the knives and saying that he wanted to kill. I do not know why he said it or why he wanted to do it. My mom got tired from that situation and she no longer wanted to do anything about the fear. I knew I could possibly lose my father so to make sure he did not drink the alcohol, and I hid it.

After a while my dad became ill and they had to operate on his throat. He left the hospital but that was not the most painful moment. When I was 8 years old, my mom and my dad no longer understood each other very well and arguments started between them. I saw it all. Eventually, my dad got a bike and that bike brought many more problems to my family. My dad got another woman, which was why my father was absent in the house. I do not remember this very well. I was a girl when everything happened. My dad came home very late and my mom had already imagined what had happened but I did not want to say anything. I did not want to tell her about the time I ditched when my dad had another woman and that my mom was going to divorce him.

Since then I want to kill everything that I see of my dad as a father.

I only have a single good memory of him, when my father gave me a dog. The dog was called Silvestre. My father gave Silvestre to me when I was a few months old. This dog taught me to walk and protected me everyday. Silvestre grew up with me until I was 4 years old and i loved that dog. But then a man killed my dog. It was too hard for me. I was only 4 years old and losing my dog that way broke my soul.
The truth is that I do not care much about what happens to my father, but I know that everything that I lived through with my father is part of my life. I do not know if I have anger or not but I feel that in my life I need something. I do not know what I need, but something in my life has been better because now I have a better father, my uncle. My uncle has done what my dad can not do. My uncle sees me as his daughter because he treats me as if he were my father. He gives me everything. He gives me the affection that I do not have from my father.

I have many happy moments in my life, but one of the best was when I went with my whole family (mother, uncle, aunt, my mom’s boyfriend and a family friend) to Orlando, Florida. We went to DisneyWorld and Universal Studios for my 15th birthday. It was a very beautiful experience to be able to see so many beautiful and very special things.

The decision to come to the United States was my mom’s. Wherever my mother goes, I go. It was hard for me because I left my life with my grandparents, but I knew that I could go whenever I wanted. It was the hardest in December because of my grandfather’s birthday. I know that living in this country is better for me. My mom made the decision to come to the United States because we were going to have a better life here and because I have a great future here.

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