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I Learn Library

A human library inspired by the stories in the film

Unsure Thoughts

By Mariana Avila  |   From : San Fernando, California  |   School : Social Justice Humanitas Academy

On August 13, 2013 my mom started to get migraines a lot and she took many medications to help her calm them done but none of them worked on her. So she decided to go to the hospital because she couldn’t handle the constant pounding pain in her head anymore, when she went to the hospital she told them what was going on so they took her to the CAT scan room and they found out that she had a tumor in her head, when they told her that she has to have surgery the doctors also told her that she is going to lose something part of her I don’t remember the thing the doctor told her but she lost her eyesight from her right eye from looking up and down and side to side. The cost of her having a tumor in her head was because she kept having mine grands but I don’t know the whole story so I don’t know if the whole cost of her having a tumor was because of her migraine. When I was in school I had no idea what was wrong with my mom my dad decided to pick me up from school so I can go and visit my mom at the hospital. I was so confused in what was happening my parents didn’t  tell me I guess it was for a great reason, they wanted to protect my feelings. When I arrived at the hospital I had to lie about my age because I was 8 years old and was not able to see my mom if I told them my real age but I looked like a 15 year old so it was easy for me to lie, but besides that seeing my mom looking absolutely horrible made me feel really bad for my mom I felt like crying but I wanted to stay strong for my mom because I remembered that my brother told me not to cry because it will make her feel worse. She came home after a few days later of recovering from the surgery. Then a few months later she started to have migraines again and they were even worse my mom felt even more pain. And I remember one day at night all of a sudden she was starting to scream because she was feeling pain and when I went to her room to check if she’s okay I saw that my dad was holding my mom in his arms because she fainted, and when she was staring to waking up she was crying because she didn’t want to go to the hospital she was tired of going back and forth to the hospital and the doctors not knowing what was wrong with her. I felt like crying seeing  my mom like this and me not knowing what to do and thinking that my mom is going to die I just went to my room and cried in there and pray to god that my mom is going to be alright. The things I said where “Okay my mom is not going to die she not going to die okay, Mariana she is okay she is going to be okay everything is going to be okay she is going to come home and be free from all of her pain” I was praying and talking to myself that everything was going to be okay so I could calm down. A few minutes past by I was still awake because I couldn’t sleep without knowing that my mom was okay and I saw her and she looked a little bit better and she just told me to go to sleep and that she will tell me everything tomorrow. The next day I asked her what did the doctor tell you and she told me that they said she has vertigo and to see my mom’s face with relief because she finally knows what’s wrong with her and she finally has a name for what she has. She was also glad that vertigo can be curable by doing some exercises. My mom still has vertigo she gets dizzy out of nowhere sometimes it happens when she’s driving or if she look at any bright lights and sometimes the TV that’s why whenever she drives or whenever she’s in the mall she has to wear her sunglasses to protect her eyes. The only thing that does suck is that my mom has to take lots of pills everyday because if she doesn’t take them she will get very dizzy without them. Something that I learned and that people should take from this story is that you should always appreciate what you got in life especially your parents because they’re the people that brought you into this world, and for me sometimes it could get very annoying and frustrating when people say that they hate their parents and hearing that really affected me because I could never say that I hate my mom after experiencing this with her I will always love my mom no matter what she does that will irritate me or anger me. It affected me a lot because me going through something very intense and emotional and me hearing kids say that “ I hate my mom” but I’m not saying that all kids hate their parents  some kids do respect their parents, and for the people that don’t respect their parents as much they mad me get upset because they’re saying that they hate their parents so much and in my head I was just thinking that “You’re going to regret saying that because maybe one day your parents will get an accident and the last thing you said to them is that you hated them, kids should always love their parents” but I kept it to myself.

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