Sorry

I’m Nathan todays days I live in the U.S and way back there I would never thought I would
be where I am today. Living under certain circumstances, surrounded by a specific kind of
people, life is never easy. Some situations and some events force you to grow up faster than
others. Because of that, I always found myself among older crowds, doing the wrong things.
I am not proud of those things today, but I did them out of necessity and survival. I did what I
had to do just to put food on the table and help my mother. My father was a ghost in my life
for a long time. He lived far away, chasing his own path, while we were left behind to face
our struggles alone.
One day, my father showed up at my mother’s house to tell me he was leaving for the United
States. He had come to say goodbye. I felt the heaviness of a final farewell, but he told me it
was only a see you later. He promised that the following year I would have the chance to
visit him. At the time, I was just a kid from the hood. I was a kid who learned how to survive
on the streets, raised in the shadows of trouble and constant problems. The street was my
only teacher.
At first, the idea of the USA felt like a spark of excitement. I had no clue what destiny had
planned for me. Once I arrived, my father asked me to stay with him. I hesitated. My heart
was heavy with uncertainty because I did not know if this was what I truly wanted. Staying
meant leaving my family and my siblings behind. It also meant staying with a man I did not
even have a real bond with. But my mother, thinking of my future, convinced me to stay. She
told me it was a chance for a better life. She called it a unique opportunity that a kid from the
streets like me would never get again.
In the beginning, the novelty made everything seem perfect. But as the months passed, a
hollow feeling set in. I realized how much I actually missed the daily adrenaline and that fast
life of the hood I had left behind. The transition was too sharp and too cold. I felt out of place.
I craved the comfort of my mother’s presence, as she was the only person who truly knew
me. Even though we were separated by an entire ocean, she was the only thing keeping me
whole.
My father and I were like strangers living under one roof. I was raised with the principles of
the streets and he had his own. We clashed constantly, and our conflicts made an already
difficult life feel unbearable. Then school started, and the sheer scale of it terrified me. I
came from schools, where security and cleanliness were luxuries we could not afford. I was
used to small, cramped classrooms with barely fifteen students. Suddenly, I was surrounded
by an immense crowd. It was overwhelming. Even though it looked better or nicer than what
I knew, I felt like an alien. I did not feel at home.
I retreated into myself, hiding from the world. I kept my head down, did what I had to do, and
spoke to no one. I did not know a word of the language and I had no desire to socialize. I

have always carried the scars of the streets, which left me with trust issues and a hard time
opening up to anyone who has not walked in my shoes.
Then I met someone. I met a person who actually saw me. Even though our pasts were
worlds apart, it felt like we had known each other for a lifetime. This person became my
anchor during that first year. They were my only point of reference in a country that felt so
empty. We vented to each other, sharing our burdens and keeping each other upright. For
the first time, I felt accepted, and that made everything easier. We are still close today,
helping each other survive the challenges of high school.
Things with my father have settled a bit now. We have found a way to be closer, though the
road is still rocky. Life remains complicated, but I pray to God every day that things will finally
resolve so I can take the reins of my life again. It has been four long years since I last saw
my family and my day ones, the brothers who stood by me through the fire. I live for the day I
can finally go back, see them again, and hold them all close. I am learning America, but I am
also learning how to find myself in a world that feels so different from where I started.