Sorry

         Growing up Pacoima is very hard seeing people die seeing people getting jumped seeing crackheads in the corner we as a society are known as we killed each other because we are just from a different hood but all i wanted to tell you is where i’m from so if you want to know keep on reading .This begins early in the morning 5:00am in the morning me and my best friend i don’t want to say his name because it brings back memories so me and my friend were walking to school i know its early but we wanted to go to school early because we want to use the weight room there because we wanted to join football for high school so when we were walking he said he wanted to buy something at 711 so i was like “ill go witchuuu bro don’t trip” he said nah bro it cool he was telling me no and no so i was ight i just meet you at the school i don’t know if he knew that it was going to happen but the look on his face when he said “Bye bro i’ll see you later”.I will never forget those last words he said to me so i went to school thinking he will come in like 30 minute so he never came i saw ambulance coming back and forth i just thought damn it’s just another day in the hood.So still he hasn’t came i was not worrying much because he either got lazy and went to go smoke so i was like fuck it i just put in work for myself so i did and when i finished i went to my class he never came he missed a week of school but that usually the thing he does so one day we were doing our finals for school and i got pulled out my teacher was talking to me he said “Gabby” i need to talk to you i was like damn i was laughing because i thought i got caught cheating on the final but no it was not that.He told me your friend died i was like can u repeat that again sir i didn’t hear you i heard him the first time but i was just making sure it was him so he repeated it again gabby your best friend passed away.When i heard that news i cried i cried like if there was no tomorrow i cried like if the world ended i cried- later that day i was like nah this can’t be true so i jumped the fence and i went to his mom house i ran i didn’t care if i got hit by a car but i ran when i got to his house his mom was there.She had a big picture of him and some candles and she was crying and i realize what i thought was a dream and happened to other people actually happened to me.So i stayed with her we both cried i told her i was sorry for not being with him i said i was sorry for not saving his life i said i was sorry for!!!- she said it’s ok! You didn’t do anything hijo its just that he was at the wrong place at the wrong time and i was like but still he was my best friend what can i do and she told don’t worry about him he is in a better place now he looking down at us right now seeing us cry he doesn’t want to see us cry he want us to be happy so please wipe your tears.Three years passed by freshman year i didn’t have any friend people made fun of me because i was a loner but yet they didn’t know my story so 5 months later we had to right a poem about a trauma you face and i wrote about him when i finished i cried because i’ve never talking about him in 3 years.The look on everybody face and my teacher they were all shook because they didn’t know the story why i was in a good mood and why i always appreciated life.All i wanted to say to the adults or kids is that dont be nervous to cry in front of people try to be in open person or try to talk to in adult that is close to you because what i did is talked to my teacher he  told me that to only remember the good memories you had with him and i was like you right.And I dont know were to start but all I know was when being with you bro was that we could get through anything together you were like my brother before I had any friends and I just wanted to say is that I love you so much all I wanted to say is that Im so happy of claiming you as my best friend and all I wanted to say is thank you for everything and in a blink of in eye I never had the chance to say goodbye you were like a star you were gone so soon and I will never be the same without you I love u bro RIP.