Sorry

Where I Am From 

I am from a place where the hospital is far away.

Where the riches are all in the Capital.

I wasn’t always free, history made me free.

I’m no longer that girl who used to play in the sand

In the backyard of my grandmother’s house.

Probably I will never be playing there anymore.

Life was a warm blanket, sweet like an apple

But simple like primary colors.

I didn’t have the pressure to fit in.

I was that girl who wasn’t scared to be herself.

“I’m not just an immigrant,

I’m a daughter, a niece, a grandchild,

A student, a friend, a girlfriend, and a normal person

With a normal life.”

This is what I used to say

Everyday.

My Daily Life

Every morning exactly at six

From Monday to Friday

I wake up to get ready for school.

But before I get myself ready

I have to make sure my little brother is ready for school and eats breakfast.

I take a depth breath and think about How the day is going to be.

Have I done my homework?

Do I have a quiz in Math?

What exactly is going to happen?

I eat my breakfast and walk to the train station for exactly 7 minutes.

I take the train at 7:36 am.

I feel relief because I remember everyday brings me closer to my dreams.

I see how my mom struggles with us

Because she’s the man,

The woman,

The mother of the two of us.

Lifting gives me peace

And strength.

Lifting makes everything better.

My college class gives me more inspiration

Of course, my mom does too.

I remember everything I have been through.

I laugh about it

Cause, Why not?

I’m getting better at English.

This is my life.

I enjoy it.

Future Me

Dear future Bedthznaida,

In 10 years from now I hope you are feeling healthy physically, mentally, and economically.

I hope you become a doctor/nurse as you always wanted to be. I want you to have that self control and mentality that I never have.  You are married to the man of our dreams. You have two beautiful children running around in the house that you and your husband brought with our money without a loan, in a fancy neighborhood in Boston where you have a community and you feel welcome. You  like your  neighbors and they like you back. You’re living your best life. Every member of our family is healthy and they are here in the United States. You are a U.S citizen along with the rest of our family. You are a doctor who works 8 to 10 hours a day. You love your job and you love your life the way it is. Even though sometimes you have problems, that is okay, it is part of life. Sometimes you have conflicts with your husband, that is okay, remember that is part of  marriage.

Sincerely,

Bedthznaida