Sorry

For as long I could remember I knew that I will come to America. My father always talk about it like it was going to be the best thing ever, a miracle, a dream come true. I never did care, because we didn’t really need it. Then the earthquake happens, it was the first time I realize that life is short and how precious it is. January 12 is a date I will never be able to forget; I was still thinking about my birthday which was the 4th. I return to school that day and it was normal, and nobody ever thought that so many lives could end and such little time. I got home around 3 o’clock I remember that that I was trying to do homework while waiting for my mom to come home. I think it’s safe to say that she arrives exactly 2 minutes before it happens, I was scared and all over the place and my mom just took me to a corner of the house and saying that It was safest. It lasted around 40 seconds. It wasn’t the first time that my mom experience she thought I wasn’t that serious, and we could go back to our lives but we got outside the house everything was so dark and being afraid of the aftershocks we had to sleep in a park that wasn’t that far from the house and I was only later that day we saw my dad, it felt like a weight was taken of my sholders. That day made me realize how fortunate I’m to be alive and that I still have both my parents. 

Some people said that it gets worse before it gets better. For my family it’s just got worse. We had to do some reparation for the house, my mom lost one of her jobs. That is when we started the application for me to come to this country and 6 years later here, I was starting a new life in an unknown country in a language I didn’t speak. The first three weeks were great and after that reality kick in, we had to find order family to live with   because the house was being sold. I past so many houses at the beginning they love you then I started to get that they were tired of you. So, my mom whom by the way stayed in Haiti made some arrangements for me to live with her best friend family. The best way to describe those months would be the word horrible sometimes I would still hear the yelling in my head, the way they would talk to my mom about me the sound of her disappointment voice and the fact she thought that I could do those things  killed me a little bit more every time. My mom suffers from sickle cell Anemia she is always sick so I would take all in and I apologize for things I didn’t do because I couldn’t stand the idea of her being mad at me. People could have told me wrong, but I was sure that they were trying to pull me away from my father by complaining about how many times he would come to visit me. I Also remember the envy to end it all, one time I almost did then I thought about my parents that loves me more than anything in the world and I couldn’t go through with it. Think God I didn’t go through with it or would not been here to writing about it. I got out of its after what feels like an eternity but had the courage to test that love by talking to my father and at my grand surprise, he said that he was thinking about it because of something one of the members of the family said earlier that week. My life is still not great or where I wanted to be, but l learns take it one day out of time.