Sorry

My name is Andrea, and this is my story. 

I was born in León Nicaragua in 2006. In a large and united family, what any child would wish for. Big birthday parties, toys, pets, a brother, grandparents and great uncles. Everything changed since my grandfather died when I was 6 years old, then also my great-grandparents. A little late but we knew that the president was not doing the right things and the economy under what forced my parents to travel to the United States, they did not want to leave my brother and me alone so if one traveled another stayed with us, that made me closer to my dad the man who hardly interacted with his daughter became a stylist, designer, animal keeper and even a flower-men. Although I was always in the care of nannies, my parents were always very present. One day in 2018 my two parents had to stay in the United States indefinitely and they always said that one day I would be with them, they taught me the schools where I could study and decorated my room with unicorns. 

Agradezco lo que la vida me quitó porque me enseñó a apreciar lo que me dio. 

Progress allows people to learn from their mistakes, but perfection is subjective. Striving towards progress in your own spiritual or personal growth character building but not trying to be perfect. If we focus on being perfect we are not achieving anything since perfection means something different for each person, we look for the approval of others we do something even to make it “perfect” for someone and then another person comes with different thoughts and says “that is not perfect” and a circle is created since no one will say the same but it is not for others, we can cut the circle and create a line we can decide our future and stop looking for approval and perfection.

 When you set a goal and create steps to achieve that, you will make mistakes we are human there will be many people who will tell you that you can’t, you will fall but you will learn to get up that is progress, don’t wait for the perfect moment, don’t expect to be the perfect person, don’t expect to have the perfect life to tell someone. Don’t lose your essence. 

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears” Nelson Mandela

Throughout my life, since I was very young I have made the mistake of looking for perfection and I have sought it with the approval of my parents, whenever I did something I asked them if it was okay But one day in 2018 both of my parents emigrated to the United States, I spoke to them a few times and that led me to wonder if I was doing things right or if that was what I wanted for my life. I went into depression since I didn’t really know what to do and I didn’t have anyone to tell me if I did something wrong.

In Nicaragua I was in the care of my maternal grandmother who told me that I was the older sister and that I could do my things alone. But at that time I was thirteen years old and food had always been a problem, I don’t eat pork because it gives me allergy outbreaks and there are also several things that my stomach does not digest, at that time my grandmother cooked the most was pork, of course, she knew that I could not eat and I did not bother because we are humans, but it became a habit since in general my mother’s family did it to annoy me, they saw my annoyance and for them, from a different point of view an allergy for eating something sounded silly. Based on that I developed a rejection of food which over time became bulimia since when they cooked pork I didn’t eat but the other times I ended up vomiting. 

I had an idea of my future, in my mind there has always been medicine and taking care of patients but at the age of thirteen, I did not see the possibility of reaching the goal. In that same house, I suffered beatings and humiliation just for being something different from them this and other situations I came to think about suicide, by the time I was fourteen years old I had found how I would commit suicide and at the moment of almost doing it I stopped to think and thousands of things went through my mind, my mother, my family but especially in my head the phrase “and then what?” I didn’t want my last breath to be regretting what would have happened so I didn’t do it because I remembered my dream of one day working in a hospital, one day helping the elderly and people who are dying not only outside but also on the inside. 

From that day I began to look for my future, to learn English, to read medical books. Unfortunately in my country the political persecution directly affected my family, my uncle died then a month later my grandmother and my brother died and I was left alone, no distant relative wanted to take care of us so we had to leave the country crossing three countries from Nicaragua to Mexico the persistent memory I have is crossing from one car to another and me taking care of my brother. 

When I arrived in the United States, I talked to a psychologist, and her about my relationship with food and I was able to accept what I had and work on it. I met with my parents and started high school with very little English without knowing how it worked taking exams without knowing what they were for or what they were for, I never gave up. I continued to study, giving my all I fell and I got up. I have wonderful parents who support me but I’ve learned and I don’t make an effort to show anyone else what I am, I try to look back and hug that thirteen-year-old girl and show myself that I can and how strong I am. This is progress, not perfection. 

When I entered Latinos in action I met more people who have become my family, I felt free to tell my story and not be judged. I learned from my colleagues and I realized that I am not alone and there are many people who have achieved a lot, nothing is impossible. 

Now following my dream, I will finish high school, I will become a CNA and I will study nursing so that in the future I can take care of those people who need my help and in the future my goal is to achieve a change in my community and raise awareness of the importance of health. as well as being able to provide medical care to low-income families. 

I am in the Hispanic honors society, also in key club and Latinos in action which has given me great memories doing community hours with children also serving seniors and also organizing events, and I have actually enjoyed having the opportunity to serve my community.

“Leadership Doesn’t Necessarily Come From Those Who Seek A Position, But From Those Who Position Themselves To Serve Those Who Seek.” Dr. Jose Enriquez 

Be that person you want to be because everything is a process. And remember, the stars are ours.