Sorry

“Just breathe in and out, in and out, take one breath then blow it out. Just in and out, just in and out, don’t let anybody crowd. Crowd your life, crowd your day. Or crowd what makes you feel great, even if the day may back, and you may fall, into a wall” (good)

Everyone has those days that they just deal with; The days when they are struggling with so much that it feels like their own head is about to explode. And I should know because I’m one of those people that just struggles with a lot of stuff in their life. (good)

Some of those things are just a part of my everyday life that I go through like any other person. I deal with problems at work, school, and home the same as everyone else.  As I go through my life, I find ways to handle it. However, some of the more serious struggles that I deal with didn’t really commence until I was around twelve years old. Basically, as my life was just getting started, and I was becoming a young adult, I was also facing a new issue.  (good)

So I had just turned twelve and was finishing 5th grade,  summer vacation was coming and I had somethings planned like going to camp for the very first time.  I was so excited to go because I knew it would be fun. Unfortunately, during the summer, I found out something that would change my life forever. (good)

But this thing… this one struggle was so much harder than anything I had to deal with before the summer started. That summer I was tested and was told that I have dyslexia.

Now having dyslexia was hard at first, but with some time and some support, I have learned how to fight this condition.  You might wonder why I was tested in the first place. First, I was having trouble reading. I knew I was reading slower, but I assumed I was just a slow reader.  But then I started to notice that everyone was reading at a higher level than me. I started to feel like an outcast. Then I noticed that my spelling was worse than other people.  At first, I thought my mistakes were simple things like I wrote the word too fast or accidentally mixed up my ‘b’ and ‘d’. I still didn’t think it was a problem though because everyone misspells sometimes.

I never thought I could have dyslexia. I didn’t even know what it was until one day when I saw a commercial about it.  The actress was explaining her problems and I thought it sounded just like mine. I kept it in the back of my mind. I told my parents about it and it made them think about it too.

My parents decided to have me tested. The test was interesting.  It didn’t feel like a test. It wasn’t like any other test I take in school.  It felt like fun activities. I went to three different visits. I was diagnosed on my third visit.  My dyslexia is more than just reading the letters wrong. It’s also a problem with my speech. I hear and say words differently than other people. When I first learned how to read my teacher would tell me to sound out the words.  But when I sound out the words, I spell them incorrectly. I spell them how I hear or say them. My accent is stronger than other people and that adds to the problem.

Now I’m seventeen and I’ve had time to learn how to live with my dyslexia. I know that I’m probably going to misspell words so I will ask others for help on how to spell them when I’m stuck. I use voice to text or use word suggestions when I’ve misspelled something or don’t know how to spell it.  Sometimes using voice to text is a problem too. I’ve even had my English words translated into Spanish because of my accent. Sometimes it’s pretty funny.

Looking back it was frustrating not being diagnosed until I was twelve. I wish I would have known sooner. I would have had more practice from an early age.  Now that I know about dyslexia, I have learned more about it. It’s more than just having trouble reading or with letters. Some people have trouble with math. Some people struggle with just tying their shoes.  There are so many different issues that people can have with it. That’s why it’s called a Learning Disability.

Even though it’s a disability, I think it’s also an ability.  I am able to do the same things other people can do. As someone with dyslexia, I just do it differently. I can read and learn and talk, but I have to find the way that works for me. My brain works differently.  I just need to figure out how to do it all in a way my brain understands.

Also by doing that, I find what makes me who I am and what I should become in my life. Now I know that with this disability I have a lot to work hard for. Not because of my disability because I hold a lot to show for.

Even though I had started off thinking that I am not good enough, that there is something wrong with, and other stuff. I believe that there is a reason why I am like this, why I have to go through it. Yet I now know that I am different in a good way; I just didn’t know what my disability meet or how I work it.

But sadly what I did know is that I had to stop not caring on reading and get in to so I can get better at it. So after the summer going into the next school year, I had to start doing something that I wasn’t and still is not a big fan of. And that was to get into reading. Well more as getting into reading more then what I was doing before. Because before any of this happen I was trying not to read out loud in front of people like my class. Even though I still don’t like doing it but now I am better at reading then before any of this.

And therefore, it has been five years since I had found out about my disability. And to this day I am now seventeen and in the 11th grade in high school. Still, I’ll fight and work hard for what I need to do to succeed in whatever comes my way, even if it knocking me down, or just attaching me I’ll still be going strong.

So until my next challenge with or without my disability, I will not be worried, I will not be scared, I will be strong to whatever comes my way. Because I know that there is nothing that can stop you even if you have or don’t have a disability or just a struggle in your life.

All you need is to keep your head high and just don’t let nothing stop you because like one wise person said: “ If you’re always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.”- Maya Angelou. So let’s all be amazing people and be who we are.