Sorry

I lived in Mexico for nine years. When I was in Mexico, I was always with my sisters and my mom. I use to see my dad only in christmas because december was the only month that he didn’t  have that much work, so he was going to visit us and be with us for certain days. “The life I live, I do not  want to give to my daughters”, my dad would say.

Living  in Mexico is to work hard everyday but without any changes. People like my dad look for a better place for their family. Most of the people immigrate the United States because they say “ more work, more money, and more freedom.” My dad’s dream was the same as my dream, and is to be our whole family together.

After years, he decided to brings us to the United States for a better life and more opportunities, but the biggest reason was to be together and to not make my mom work a lot and suffer with us.  I came to the United States in October, 2010.

When I came to the United States, I suffered because when I was in Mexico I used to be with my sister always. She took care of me more than my mom. I thought of her as my mom. Afterward, the conflict the was affecting my self was to meet with my real mom that pass years did not exist in my life or heart. “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.” In myself I said that even we stop think to things the we use to think after years later you will not make it to go away and is because you have certain reasons to don’t put it as a normal feeling.

When I started to go to school my biggest conflict was not to speak english. Then, the person that was always helping me with my homework or other stuff was not with me. So I start to miss my sister because every time that I needed help with something, she was there and when I got here nobody was here. Days, and months were passing, and I was still missing  my sister.

But, things got worse because everyday I was just having complains about my mom and I. My personality changed towards my mom because I was feeling hatred and anger toward her. Every time I did something for her, it was something wrong. So, I decided to be who I am and to show the person that is really me. “We have to fight to find our own life.” As a human we pass for a lot conflicts in life, but we learn from it, and later on we live the experience to be more better than we are now.

Three years later. My conflict with english was away from me because I was in higher levels, and teachers, friends, and other people were really with me helping me with things that I did not understand. My classes were higher, and I can communicate with others. My grades were awesome in the first quarter.

After, I had a conflict my mom.We offended each other. Days after that, things come out of my brain, and I felt disappointed of myself because even I don’t have a good relationship with my mom but she is still my mom. So, I was surprise of myself because three years have passed without my sister and my connection with my mom did not change. I decided to talk to someone and that someone was Ms.Medrano, and it was  because this problems were not just affecting myself, but my grades, my personality, and the biggest important thing for me was my thoughts. My thoughts were risky, and I could not control myself. I started to talk to my sister about what was going, and she tell me to don’t feel disappointed because it was not my fault. “We must learn to understand people older than us.” I was always say the to understand someone else you should understand yourself because even you might have more experience than the person or the person is just older than you but does not understand what you mean to say something that for you  means a lot. So, talk to someone can help you a lot because your thoughts change for a while and you can blow of steam all your feelings to someone or to yourself.

Thereafter, Ms.Medrano and I we keep talking, but she decided to talk to my mom too. So, she talk for a while to my mom about what was going on, and she explained what can she do to stop my risky thoughts. My mom just tell me that I was getting crazy. And I said, “WOW!!” How things will change if my mom does not help?”

Later on I decided to keep myself up because in my future my mom will not be the one who will be with me. I keep talking to Ms.Medrano, and she was the only person was for me everyday. When I started to continue to care of myself, everything change better. Everything was different. My grades were better.My risky thoughts change to positive thoughts, and I stop to miss my sister.

When my mom see the I was changing my personality towards her, she was starting to change too. She was communicating more with me when I need somethings she was always asking me. Gradually, everything was getting different. I was different with my mom but! My dad too because both were pay attention more to me. And they were talking more with me.

Today, we still have our conflicts between my mom and I,: But is not anymore because lack of communication. Now is sometimes the each other we are disappointed of something the we don’t like. But, I think in every relationship with parents it has to be something that changes our minds to different things. At the end we know the we going to get into a decision the all people will like it. Now I can say that I live something big that I don’t have words to describe it because most people do not live this types of things. You might think that live this types of problems might affect your life because is hard to keep it control more when you don’t have someone that can help you to solve this problems. But one thing I learn was that when you want something to change you have to fight no matter if you need to spend a lot time thinking how to solve your problem or go through painful things at the end you will be proud of yourself because  you learn things from it.

                  The End