Sorry

To this day, I’m known to be an incredibly curious person. In fact, I’m the type of person to ask anyone anything, no matter the occasion. When I was younger, most movies I’d watch contained a plot consisting of a major change within the main character’s life. In some cases, it would be the death of a loved one or an antagonist ruining everything. However in this story though, the biggest plot was having to start a new life from scratch. No friends, no family, and no place to go. I could never imagine having to start a new life in a different place and I certainly didn’t like the idea of becoming a victim to that.

What I enjoyed most when I was younger was seeing the same people I grew up with every day. It actually made me want to go to school more often and with that, my friendships grew stronger. My whole life I’ve grown up in poverty. My parents, who came from Mexico at the age of 20 with my newborn older sister, struggled every year to maintain a roof over our heads. Most of my bad memories from my childhood often involved my parents arguing over money, but it never turned into anything physical. It was simply verbal yells every day when they’d come home from work. I don’t remember ever seeing them happy and I felt that someday they’d end up divorced. With arguments occurring during the weekdays, it made me envy the idea of my parents going to church on the weekends because it was like the family was putting on a mask.

At one point during my childhood, my dad announced the idea of starting a business to help financially support the family and hopefully eventually get us out of the home we were living in at the time. With this in mind, he invested in his very own first CAT machine and created business cards which he placed in local shops to seek customers. Our home wasn’t the best place to live in and I didn’t realize that until after we moved away. In one part of the house, fungi would grow out of the wall and almost touch the ceiling. In the bathroom, our shower walls were orange because of, what I’m assuming was rust, coming from our dirty water pipes. In my sister’s room, ants, roaches, and rats were practically living in there most of the time. And in my brother’s room, we had a second bathroom whose toilet wouldn’t even flush. 

Our neighborhood wasn’t exactly the best either. When I’d walk home from school, I’d fear the moment I’d have to pass by the unleashed barking pit bulls or the moment a car would drive through the street especially because there was a sex offender living within these houses. I vividly remember that neighborhood like it was yesterday, the moments I’d spend walking to and from my bus stop frightened me more than anything. Everything worsened once Hurricane Irma hit, which caused the roof of our home to lift and allowed water to leak inside. That was a major eye-opener for my dad and with all the destruction in the cities, he took this as an opportunity to look for homes that needed cleanups and owners who’d be willing to give him the jobs. 

Once the money he earned from these jobs came rushing in, he began the process of building our first official house here in Lehigh. Specifically, because the land was cheaper for him. My dad spent a total of two years building our home. During the weekdays he’d work his regular job, and then switch to his business jobs once he was off. When it came to weekends, instead of taking those days to himself he’d spend that time working to make progress on our house. At the end of the day, he’d come home just to wake up and do it all over again the next morning. After those two long years, the house was done and we all made sure to pack our things before the end of July. At this point, we were being asked to vacate our original home so it was important for us to leave as soon as possible. 

Our first few weeks in our official house weren’t so simple. We got robbed the previous night we moved in and lost a total of $3,000 only on our first day here. Since we were tight on money, we also had no furniture and slept on mattresses placed on the floor. You can already imagine how my family felt towards Lehigh after this, but we decided to stay because my dad had worked so hard for this dream. 

August was approaching and on my first day of middle school, I was anxious. That day almost every teacher I had asked the students what elementary school they came from. They’d call out a list of names and ask the students to raise their hands for which one applied to them, which made me see myself as more of an outcast than I already did. To fit in, I changed everything about myself, or at least what I thought would make me cool enough. I tried being more social, but it didn’t work out so well because I hung out with the wrong crowd, not the typical people I’d hang out with. For a while, I felt accepted by many. However, sooner or later I couldn’t keep up with that identity and as the school year was ending, my true personality began to slip out. 

Before you know it, I found myself socializing less and less. Eventually every morning during the first period, I’d have the worst stomach pains. I knew it was because of the anxiety I felt walking through the school doors. My band teacher that year became the closest friend I had. We saw ourselves in each other and if I wasn’t interacting in class, I’d turn to him and spark up a conversation. I’d say he’s part of the reason I learned how to communicate and that makes me incredibly thankful for getting the chance to meet him. 

In March, COVID hit and it filled me with relief. Finally, I didn’t have to be at school and feel uncomfortable around people I barely knew. 

Throughout all this time, my appearance changed. I got slimmer, styled my hair differently, and got taller. By 8th grade year, I had more friends than ever. I was still a quiet person, but my physical appearance helped me socialize with people who actually wanted to talk to me. It made me happy to know that I had friends again even if that did mean it was solely because of my appearance after puberty. Every year after that became easier for me because I had much more experience meeting new people. Yes, the transition was difficult but moving allowed me to open up to those who hadn’t known me my life. As a result of this, I’ve built newer friendships and left my past ones behind. I’ve even learned a few stories from others myself. Stories I can also learn significant lessons from. 

If I hadn’t moved cities all that long ago, I wouldn’t have met anyone in this room and I certainly wouldn’t have been able to share my story with the world. As for my dad, his business has grown immensely. Now, he owns multiple CAT machines, trucks, and lots. I couldn’t be happier living in the home I’m in now, even if that did mean leaving my past life behind. It’s made me who I am and that’s what I’m most grateful for. 

Going through this experience at such a young age opened my eyes more than I thought it would. I realized how big changes don’t necessarily equal bad outcomes. At first, I thought moving meant my life would be over, but that wasn’t the case. To whoever is going through something similar, don’t assume that a change will turn into the end of the world. It is up to you to choose what path to take to make it to the finish line. 

Every ending to a movie usually finishes off with the phrase, “This is just the beginning.” I, for one, never understood the use of that phrase until I finally got to experience my own version of it. To put it simply, moving made me stronger than I was before, so much so that I’ve begun to look forward to the future days ahead of me. Why you may ask? Well, because this is just the beginning.