Sorry

When I was younger I had a lot of people who had issues. By those issues I mean that we had a lot people who left to the after life. I remember the first person who have been my grandma. I believe that she died of natural causes. It was hard because that’s a family member. The next would be my uncle. I don’t really remember how he died but he still dead either way. The next would be my brother. That one got me the hardest out of all of them. That one got me harder because that’s my brother but since I was young at the time I  didn’t really understood what it meant when someone dies. So I had trouble getting through it.

We had problems dealing with it in our own ways. I don’t really remember how I dealt with it because since I was so younger I wouldn’t remember it all. So I didn’t really know how I acted or how I was after it happened. All I know know is that it is still hard to talk about. In certain situations it makes it extremely difficult to even think about. I don’t like to talk about it because people just make the situation more difficult and they also see you differently from what happened to you. The gist of it is that I don’t want others to get into the problems that I’m facing. It is something that I dealt with yes but even so I don’t like how others believe that they have the power to help or that they are capable of getting you through it. I just don’t like the idea of others getting into really emotional issues that others are going through. It was really emotional for me and everyone else in my family. The reason that I’m talking about these stories in the first place is because I’m not seeing that person face to face so it’s a lot easier to talk about it.

I remember that I was sleeping. I hear crying/yelling. I wake up and a bunch of people huddled around the bed. We only had one bed so I was sleeping on the floor during this time. I understood what happened but it really didn’t get through to me completely. So I saw everything but I didn’t really faze me. Just not at that very moment. I was with my niece and my nephew. There were with me sleeping beside me. We woke up to them just there next to the bed. I found out that one of my family members passed away. I don’t really remember what happened after this because I was really young at the time so that’s as much detail that will be given from this certain event that I went through. I remember all the experiences that I had with them. It was fun being with them because they were important to me.

For this particular circumstance either I couldn’t really remember much of this too because I was young during this time as well just like a year older. I remember that it was in their room. I wasn’t there when it happened. I remember that we found them a little while after it took place. I believe that it was a health or medical problem but I am not so sure about what particularly happened.

I remember this really clearly. It was the first week of 3rd grade. It was the Friday of that week too. I remember getting out of school and running to my sister. She said that they were going to the beach and asked if I wanted to go with them. I rushed to go with them. I don’t really remember what was going on during our time at the beach because it wasn’t important compared to what would happen afterwards. We were in the car when we were really close to the house. I believe we were around the train area. My sister got a call. She started crying. She told us that someone in our family had passed away. I started to cry. I don’t remember if the other two in the car were crying or not but I remember being really heartbroken. We rushed to get home even if it was close we still tried to get there as fast as possible. I remember seeing the ambulance and leaving. I thought to myself why there were leaving if they called for them. I ran to the house and saw some of my other family members crying there on the floor. I saw my mom. I saw who it was. How they looked then and there. It comes to a blank after that. I don’t remember what took place after all of this happened. I don’t remember how I was at school. I can’t even remember how it was after that.

My mom was affected the most because they were connected to her more on different levels. She had the most problems compared to the rest of us that were involved. She had here challenge of getting better. Since all of this all happened around a year apart from each other they all came in one go. It was a lot of financial problems because of all of them happening so fast and close to each other. A few of our neighbors helped my mom out when the time came of this. I do appreciate them for what they did. It’s something that we won’t be able to get through because it’s a part of us, it may not have be something recent but it still have a great impact on all of us who cared for them. Me personally I don’t think I’ll be able to get over it and I’m fine with that because that’s who I am and it’s something that’s apart of me and that will never change.