Sorry

For a long time, I believed my worth was tied to my accomplishments. I thought achieving the best grades was the only way to succeed, even though I never felt immense pressure from my family to be perfect. But if that wasn’t the expectation, why was I always aiming so high?

To understand, we need to go back in time. I grew up in a Spanish-speaking household. My parents spoke it fluently, and it was always present in TV shows and music. Despite this, I struggled to learn the language. At the same time, I was learning English, and while I eventually got the hang of English, it wasn’t easy. My teachers and family both helped me along the way. While other kids napped in pre-K, I was practicing. I didn’t enjoy it at first, but this early work instilled a habit of putting in the effort, a mindset I’ve carried with me through school.

Despite my determination, I was held back a year in kindergarten. Having to repeat a grade felt like a failure, something I didn’t want to share with anyone. It made me feel like I wasn’t smart, the one thing I wanted to be more than anything. This experience left a mark, and there was still something else that lingered—my disconnect with Spanish. I didn’t know why I struggled with it, and it left me embarrassed at times. I would tell my friends I was Hispanic but felt self-conscious, as if not being fluent made me less connected to my heritage.

That changed in middle school though because in 7th grade, I signed up for Spanish class, expecting it would give me a head start for high school and college. But it became much more than that. For the first time, I started to connect with the language. Learning it in a structured environment, where grammar and vocabulary were broken down, helped me finally understand. It became an opportunity to embrace a part of myself I had kept at arm’s length.

By the time I finished the course, something inside me had shifted. I no longer felt embarrassed about my background. I began to take pride in it. Being bilingual—or at least working toward fluency—wasn’t something that set me apart in a negative way. It made me unique. I realized that my heritage and my language were strengths, not weaknesses.

As I transitioned into high school, this confidence carried over into other aspects of my life. My mindset shifted. While I continued to make the honor roll, I realized that my grades weren’t the only thing that defined me. I started exploring activities that helped me grow personally, like mindfulness yoga, where I built strong relationships with Hispanic students. We bonded through shared experiences, forming friendships that I know will last a lifetime. These connections strengthened my sense of identity. Now, as a member of Latinos in Action, I give back by mentoring children, helping them embrace their heritage and navigate challenges with confidence, just as I have.

Now, as I look back, I’m proud of the journey I’ve taken. It’s not just about the grades anymore. It’s about the person I’ve become.  I’ve embraced every part of myself—my heritage, my struggles, and my successes. As I look ahead to college, I’m excited to continue this journey at an institution that values diversity and growth. I’m eager to contribute to a campus where I can grow and help others do the same.