Sorry

Leane – that’s a simple one word; however, it holds history and meaning. Behind all the makeup and the mask of happiness, there is secrets dwelling underneath. I am Leane; a pale, blonde haired girl. I don’t believe I have a story, I haven’t gone through hardships. My mom is French, and my dad is French Canadian; thus, when I was younger, the first and only language I knew was French. My first few years were tough because every year I would have to go to Canada, so my dad could renew his working visa. If he didn’t have it, I don’t know where I would be living right now. I don’t remember my first few years in South Carolina, but I eventually moved to Florida in 2006. That’s when I started going to school; however, there was a problem – I didn’t know English that well. My brother is two years older than me so when he started learning, I did too. I wasn’t that fluent in it as I am today though. Everyone else in my class had known English so there was somewhat of a language barrier between me and them. It wasn’t technically hard though because I just accepted it and had fun with myself. I have memories of play time in school and everyone would get together, however, I just stood aside and entertained myself playing my own game. I had my favorite stuffed animal that acted as my best friend, I took him everywhere. However, shortly after that stuffed animal would get replaced by a real person. Little did I know that a girl would talk to me and that would bloom into a friendship that is still going strong 10 years later. Being isolated younger really affected me because nowadays, I’m shy and I get anxiety just talking to people and I would rather choose to be alone compared to a group of people. However, from when I stood up and told my story to the class to now, I realized that I can make friends if I tried. Growing up I felt as if I was weird and didn’t fit in but by the time I reached middle school, I had a whole group of friends that I failed to mention. Today, the tables have turned, English is now my new main language and I lost most of my French although I can still understand every word. I still enjoy being by myself even if I feel lonely sometimes and I certainly do enjoy having no stress caused from failing friendships. I don’t trust ordinary human relationships; rather, I enter them with caution – unable to predict their next move. I have friends and I can make friends, the problem here is I don’t like socialization. My humor isn’t like everyone else’s and I’m ok if only one person understands it – I only need one friend in my life in my life and I’ve already found her.