Sorry

The lumps, the bumps, and the cracks were very discouraging as I sat there in my chair. Thirteen years old, getting into something that would eventually be a huge part of my life. It all started when I watched a YouTube video named “Cute and easy nail art”.  The cheap dollar store nail polish, and unstable nail drill, were the things that made me happy in the beginning. 

In middle school, not all the kids were very nice and accepting (completely different from the movies I watched in elementary). I went into my middle school years ready to rule the school! 

However, As I went day by day throughout my seventh grade year I developed anxiety from my lack of confidence. People would constantly make fun of me, or even push me in the halls because of how small I was. This caused me to gain the bad habit of biting my nails. It was so bad that I even developed an infection on one of my fingers from the bacteria. But even though I knew it was a problem, I couldn’t stop. It was just something I did to cope with my anxiety. My mom tried everything to get me to stop biting my nails. From just telling me to get my hands out of my mouth to her painting my nails with nail polish specifically meant to stop nail biting due to the horrible taste. However, I continued to bite my nails. 

My mom finally decided to let me get my nails done at the salon. I remember sitting down in the chair and having the biggest smile, the most perfect blue-colored nail polish in hand. I handed the lady the polish and when she saw my nails she made a face. My confidence had dropped to the bottom of my feet. It was the same feeling I would get when the kids at school would make fun of my shoes. Now, I know that this feeling has a name: “judgment”. She did my nails and I hated them, they looked like little bubbles on my tiny nails since there was barely any nail to work on. I cried. Cried so much that my head was pounding. At 13 years old, I started to worry about what others thought of me.

I remember going to school and hiding my hands in my pockets. I was so anxious about others seeing my nails that I ripped them all off with my teeth. 

Despite not liking how my first experience with getting my nails professionally done went, I knew I couldnt give up on my nails. I practiced and practiced and practiced. I will admit that the beginning was terrible. Throughout the process, I learned that practice won’t make perfect but it will drive progress. 

Now (seventeen years old) looking back, I know little Jodali would be so proud to know that our perseverance paid off. I am able to help other girls now who aren’t super confident in their nails by giving them an amazing nail experience. The smallest enhancements in life, whether they be something like nails, or even getting a better grade on a test than your last one, are what make the biggest difference. This progress doesn’t come easily but with some effort, I guarantee there will at least be a little improvement from that enhancement. 

Not once did the ugly designs or bumpy nails stop me. This perseverance has helped me realize that nothing is impossible, and with my skills, I can do anything I put my mind to.