Sorry

My story is about me and my family. Struggles we overcame together, the way my parents raised me, and how important our bond is to me. In my immediate family there’s only 4 of us, my parents, my older brother, and me. My brother and I are 8 years apart so it’s difficult to relate on things or experiences in things at different times. Now we get along a little better and he has taught me alot. He has guided me through things growing up and has always tried to keep me on the right path. At the time I found it annoying or unnecessary but as I grew up I understood why he would tell me those things and to this day I remember his advice about school and real life. I will always be grateful for the push he gave me and the hard talks we had. He always looks out for me in anything. 

My parents raised me to be a strong person who isn’t afraid to do anything, to always stand up for myself when I feel disrespected, and to never allow anyone to make me do something I didn’t want to do. I was raised to be respectful and to always try new things and pursue anything I believed I could do. One specific memory I remember was when I was a kid, we had a play at church going on and I didnt want to do it because I was nervous. At that moment I thought “No, I need to do this, all the other kids are”. I ended up telling my mom I didn’t want to participate and she understood me. She told me she wasn’t going to force me to do anything I didn’t want to do and it doesn’t matter if the other kids are participating. Instead she told me I should participate in a different way, in a way I was comfortable. I ended up painting a picture of the theme of the play. I was so happy I was able to do something I enjoy and still feel included. After that happened, both my parents always made sure I knew I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to and it really helped me throughout school and with peer pressure.

 Although it was rough sometimes, I still tried my hardest in everything, especially school. I remember all the times I would come home and be so excited to tell them about the test I passed or the assignment I got a good grade on. Hearing my dad tell me “You are very smart” and “Im very proud of you” with his spanish accent always made me happy. As I got older we developed more problems and more arguments were created. I knew to never disrespect them but I still defended myself and some would see it as talking back or being rude, especially being hispanic. It was hard at first because I hated being judged by other parents but I learned to move around that by always starting off with saying “In no way am I trying to be disrespectful but this is really bothering me” I learned to speak for myself and get my points across but always making sure I said it in the best way possible. It helped a lot because my parents could tell I was really bothered and took what I brought up seriously. Most were told to never speak back and to just listen because they are adults, but as time went on my parents definitely learned that’s how I am and know I do it to stand up for myself and explain why something happened or why something is unfair. 

Since they are my parents and not my friends, telling them everything that went on in my life or when I was feeling down wasn’t easy. When I really needed the help I would always go to them no matter what. Smaller problems like relationships with friends and personal feelings were scary to even mention because I was afraid to be judged. I definitely still keep stuff to myself as most people do but when something is really bothering me I tell them about it. The struggles we went through made me realize how important it is to have someone by your side, having someone to go to when you need it the most. I know some people don’t have that bond with people and I see now why going through tough times could be even harder but I’m fortunate enough to have my family in my life and I’m forever grateful for them. So with that creating a stronger bond with them was my goal. I tried spending more time with them, starting new conversations, being more open, and asking them questions. Through that I actually learned more about them, where they are from, things they experienced, and other funny stories. In the end I got a lot closer to them and I’m very happy about it. 

My advice to those who are struggling with something similar is to never give up on the people you care about most. Family is one of the most important things one can have and even if you guys aren’t close, you could always find new ways to change that. It could be something as simple as taking the time to converse with them or asking advice so they feel like you trust them. It’s tough at first especially in a hispanic household because it isn’t always easy to show love and affection. One can love your family so much but it almost feels impossible to show it. It’s definitely possible with time and patience. As you get older you will appreciate the memories you make and will alway have something to cherish. The bond I have with my family has never been stronger and as we grow up hopefully we grow even closer. I hope to always have that trust in them and be able to go to them whenever I need it through my adult life especially when things then could get hard or unknowing. Their guidance would always be appreciated and I would hope to see them often even after I move out. Talking to them and spending time with them will always be a big goal of mine and I hope it’s possible to do.