What is Being Alive without Living?

By JuanCarlos Correa  |   From : Cleveland  |   School : Facing History New Tech (Cleveland)

Chapter 1: Life, Love; Death, Evil

What is life? What does it mean to live? I no longer ask myself these questions. Life is empty, a dark void that I’m stuck inside of and no matter how hard I try I can’t escape. But at last I see the light, the doorway out, but it’s too far to reach. I’m surrounded on all sides now. Finally, the darkness has consumed me.


It started five years ago when I was ten in March of 2013, I lost her I lost my grandmother, my rock, my everything. She is gone because she had a heart attack ever since then I feel so weak. I feel out of balance like everything is lost, everything is gone. To make matters worse I felt a lot of pressure as an older brother to my sister. I wanted to see her again and I would have done anything but my sister looks up to me and I wouldn’t want to disappoint and also had a brother on the way. Now five years later I have three younger siblings, two brothers. One which is six and the other which was born a few days ago. I also have a younger sister who is now eight.


I had lost everything but I can’t get my grandmother back, I can only live as she would, so nice and kind to everyone. I hope to see her again and I know I will. I’ve told you about my grandmother but I haven’t told you about the other people I have lost in my life. A few years after losing my grandmother my best friend moves and I don’t get to see him for two years. He was there through thick and thin. I have always had someone to talk to thanks to him. I can’t believe he is still here for me after all that I’ve done. There’s not much to say other than he is the best person I know that isn’t blood-related but he is still family. Thank you, Nate.


There are two more people I would like everyone to know about. The first is my stepmother and the second is my cousin-in-law. My stepmom has been in my life since I was four turning five. Her name is Denna and I am mentioning her because of all she has done for me. She and my dad are the reason I am an older brother of three meanwhile on my mom’s side I’m the youngest of four, meaning my roles change on both sides drastically. My stepmom was the first person to come to my school and first to celebrate my birthday at school (My birthday is May 27th so it is pretty unlikely for my birthday to be on a school day). I love you Denna


My cousin-in-law is pretty much my best friend on my stepmom’s side. Angel and I didn’t start out close because of the age difference but now that is the reason we’re close. He is the person closest in age on my stepmom’s side. Also, he wasn’t born yet when I first met her. But Angel has been like my legs always keeping me moving.


Chapter 2: Goals v.s. Dreams

Thanks to these people and other unmentioned people I have been affected in different ways. For one being around Nate made me like having to go out to people. Being around Angel made me feel excitement and happiness. Being around my grandmother made me wanna be kind to others and being around Denna makes me want to save people (She is a nurse). My dream job and my goal is to be a firefighter. I’ve had other dreams but I always ended up going back to wanting to be this. Other dreams I had in mind at one point or another were theatre, policeman, and being an architect. If being a fireman doesn’t work out I’ll be a policeman. The reason I wanted to be an architect was that it’s a job that has to do with math which I am really good at. Now I always loved singing and dancing but the reason I wanted to do theatre was because of a field trip that the school had to Playhouse Square. When I stepped on the stage I felt like I belonged there and nowhere else. A goal is something you will achieve or will become while a dream is something wanted or wanting to become.


Chapter 3: Conclusion (Overcoming Loss)

I’ve been through a lot but the death of my grandmother was the worst. I was able to overcome this because of the people I had around me. If it wasn’t for them I would have lost the chance of getting to see her. Thank you to everyone especially Nate who I have known since I was in the fifth grade and finally someone who I hadn’t mentioned before, my father Luis. We have had arguments and my parents divorced when I was at a young age. He stayed even though he could’ve left and forgotten about me. Thank you again to all the people who stayed by my side, you know who you all are. Life wouldn’t have been the same without you all being there for me.


I am now living a great and happy life. Currently, I am the middle child (including my siblings on my mom and dad’s side). I love every one of them with all of my heart.


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