Sorry

My mom died on March 28, 2017, when I was seven years old. I was very close with my mom when I was young, being with her every second I could. One memory I have with her is when me and her would sing together in the car to music. We sang a lot of Katy Perry like California girls and fireworks. We turned it up very loud with the windows down. It was a reddish pinkish car and I would sit in the backseat while she drove and we sang. 

I remember the day it happened. I came back from school and got picked up by my aunt and sister. We sat at the Post Office and they told me. I kind of froze for a second and then I just started feeling lost. They said my mom would always be in our hearts and I feel this is true to this day. I still feel her spirit with me all the time. If I’m having a bad day I can always tell she is right there with me. 

Right away my sister started to be there for me. She always checked in on me, gave me reassurance and always made me feel joy even when things were hard. She was only twelve or thirteen at the time, the age I am now. I couldn’t comprehend what it must have been like for her, but I feel very grateful that through it all she was able to help me. She would take me sledding and pull me on our red and wooden sled. We lived between my grandpa’s house and my dad’s house, but we were always together. 

Since this huge thing happened in my life and now not having a mother figure, my older sister was always my rainbow after the rain. She always got me through any obstacles I had in life. Whether it was getting bullied by other kids or just having a bad day in general, she would always make me laugh. My family has always been here for me, even for the not so good things. This big change that happened in my life has made a big impact on me. And was for sure one of the most heartbreaking things that has ever happened to me. I was always like my mom; me and her were very like each other. We looked alike, we were both shy at first but then opened up, and we both loved listening to music and eating crab. We also liked having a girls day getting pedicures and having a good day. My mom shows up in me a lot and that is the reason I am who I am and why I am me today. 

It took patience and love to get through this. My name is Patience, and it’s funny how I have needed patience throughout this time in my life. I want to keep my moms bright side but not let the dark come in.