Sorry

Where’s my background?

A place where peace, love and morabeza is never being searched for
A place where partying is the best way to know about gossip,
To find happiness and new members of your family.

Cape Verde, the waters of your oceans always shining and pure
Your ten islands make you special and well composed.

Cape Verde, you brought me happiness and I want it back!
There’s nothing in the world that can fill this empty hole inside of me but you.

Mama, papa, nha irmon, nu ta torna contra e nu ta vivi vida di midjor manera, di nos manera
Got no words to explain how proud I am for having your roots.

Everytime I look at you on the map,
I see you smiling and trying to tell me something.
I hope the day I will get to heal my soul is close,
the whole me just needs your love and kindness
to finally feel healed.

Cape Verde, forever in my heart
I’ll bring you with me wherever I go
without forgetting who I am.

Who am I today?

Today I am just a normal girl who struggles with love, school, and many other problems
Today I am just a normal girl who misses her parents that are in another country.

Today I am just a normal girl who is just fighting for the future she wants
Today I am just a normal girl who only wishes life could’ve been easier.

Today I am just a normal girl who only wants to see people around her happy
Today I am just a normal girl who prays everyday for a better new day.

And you have no clue how I wish I could solve it.

Why so much pain? Why the feeling of a big hole inside?
What can I do? Where am I supposed to go?

What shoulder will be willing to let my head lay down on it?
Am I right to cry? Is it right to feel sad even after I chose to stay away from my family?

Oh, I guess I’m stuck, what’s pulling me back?
Take this pain away from me, once and for all!

“It’s ok.”
That’s what I’ve been saying the most in the couple past years, to calm myself down,
But is it really worth it? Maybe, maybe not.

Dear future,

In ten years from now I hope we are happy with the decisions we’ve made.
I hope mom, dad and brother are all very close to us living in a beautiful house.
I hope God is still there deep in our hearts, helping us live in the best way possible
I hope money is not a problem for us.
I hope we’re not hurt, sad, or feeling like we’re drowning and can’t scream,
I hope we’re not hurt and that we still with the same person we lovek,
I hope we finally found our pathway and friends that are trustworthy,
I hope life doesn’t feel heavy and we finally win the war.
All I want is for us to finally be happy, proud of who we are.

At this point of my life, I’m facing some challenges connected to distance from parents and prioritizing happiness.

So I hope by the time you read this, they will be a thing of the past and you are confident, happy, trusting yourself and surrounded by the ones who we truly love.

There are things I want to remind you of when you read this – we’re blessed.
Calm down and leave it to God.
Be you.
Never forget our roots.
And never forget that we can only live once, so enjoy every single moment
If it didn’t work, it’s ok, we can still figure it out and you know it!

With Love, Your Past Self